What if He Wasn't Chosen At All?

Harry Potter - book 1, part 2

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Recently, I have been writing my posts in a notebook... But, do not fear! I will be adding them on here within the next week.

I'm Not a Crybaby or a Telltale

• The characters do not seem believable to me.  They seem flat and predictable.  There is no depth.   
• What is wrong with their father?  Why is he so uncaring for his children?  Does he blame his children for his wife's death?
• The character of the medicine woman is interesting.  She becomes a sub-mother for the children apparently.  Looks like we won't be seeing much more of her though.  
• What is with the city that Alanna sees in her vision?
• I keep trying to relate this story to a broader perspective, but I can't.  I get the idea of a girl wishing she could be a boy, but besides this there doesn't seem to be a major connection.  I actually find the brother, Thom's character to be way more interesting.  It is brushed over very quickly, but the idea of a boy cross-dressing is definitely more taboo than Alanna's.  
• Alanna tries to convince herself that her father's distant attitude is a positive thing - allowing her to live her secret life.  However, if her father listened, perhaps she would be able to tell him about this and he would actually listen.  I think this concept is something familiar to children.  Every child has thought once or twice that their parents don't care about them because they're too busy with work or with their other plans.  This is extreme though.  
• Why is drinking and drunkenness playing such a big part? (Coram and Myles)
• "I'm not a crybaby or a telltale."
• I cannot help placing a sexual overtone on the whole story.  I am never a good judge of ages and perhaps she is just too young to have to deal with romantic feelings towards the boys; however, I just keep finding her relationships awkward.  

The Marble Had to be White.

"I'm bitter and angry and disillusioned!" - Ragtime, Coalhouse Walker

You said it, Coalhouse.  I'll admit that I have not taken the time to write down notes as I go.  The story was just too interesting!

Teachers Are Human Too...

Right off the bat, I am sickened by this scene with Caroni and Brother Leon.  I see myself in Caroni - his desire to be a teacher - his complete admiration of teachers.  "He'd always worshipped his teachers, had thought of becoming a teacher himself someday if he could overcome his shyness."  Teachers aren't meant to be rude; aren't meant to blackmail, but Brother Leon... My blood boils over this scene.  In fact, I think this is the most emotional scene of the book to date.  Brother Leon claims, "One thing students don't always realize, David... is that teachers are human too.  Human like other people."  Leon tries to come across as apologetic and kind, but deep down you can feel his mind at work.  Caroni had placed his teachers on a pedestal, but Leon shatters it.  His vision of teachers has changed which destroys Caroni's innocence.  Caroni's trust in the world, his trust in education, his trust in himself and his future are shattered.  Writing this now almost brings me to tears.

"No.  I'm not going to sell the chocolates." "Cities fell. Earth opened. Planets tilted. Stars plummeted.  And the awful silence." Jerry's small decision is capable of so many things.

When it comes to Jerry's locker the first thing that jumps out at me is the saying itself, "Do I dare disturb the universe?"  It is obvious that this is symbolic of Jerry's decision to upset the order of Trinity.  I find the more interesting aspects to be circulating around the poster.  First, the way he picks it makes you think, is Jerry really ready to do this?  Jerry confesses that, "Jerry wasn't sure of the poster's meaning, but it moved him mysteriously.  It was traditional at Trinity for everyone to decorate the interior of his locker with a poster.  Jerry chose this one."  I want to know what has changed in Jerry?  He began the school year completely willing to go along with the flow; to do what he is supposed to without questioning.  But, something has changed now.  When the chocolate sale comes along, something has inspired him.  Is it the fear of becoming his father?  Is it a coping stage after the loss of his mother?  Is it a maturation element developing with his desire for female companionship and love?

One of the other things that had bothered me with the poster, was the fact that Jerry couldn't make the connection between himself and the saying, "Do I dare disturb the universe?"  It wasn't a mind-blowing comment, but something he was not ready to recognize except merely subconsciously.  I am glad to see (about 30 pages later) that Jerry recognizes the connection he has with the poster he has chosen.  "Do I dare disturb the universe? Yes, I do, I do.  I think."  Although, his response still offers the opinion that he is not ready for the role he has decided to take.  Perhaps he should have waited on the chocolates and picked a later battle.  

Why?... Why Not?

Why? someone had scrawled in a blank space no advertiser had rented. 
Why not? someone had slashed in answer. - The Chocolate War, Chapter 3

Jerry's unwillingness to give up, contradicts my normal view of teenagers.  In my mind, a teenager is always ready to give up at the first glimpse of difficulty, but not Jerry.  Why is this?  Perhaps it is that, like adults, young people are willing to push themselves to extremes for things they love, in Jerry's case - football.  His body seemed to telescope into itself but all the parts didn't fit, and he was stunned by the knowledge that pain isn't just one thing - it is cunning and various, sharp here and sickening there, burning here and clawing there. I think it is really interesting that Jerry can perceive various elements of pain - a child cannot.  This concerns both physical and emotional pain, he is more apt to recognize the differences.

I don't understand what's going on with the names.  Why is Obie writing them down?  How is Archie coming up with them.  How does Archie choose the assignment for each boy?  Obie doesn't want Jerry to be put down because of his mother's recent death - why is Archie so adament for him?

Jerry is upset that he doesn't have the courage to buy and enjoy and flaunt the Playboy magazine - but is this courage or is it something to do with maturity? Or does it even have something to do with his idea of respect for women? Perhaps his mother's death has made him mature earlier than if he had developed in a similar circumstance as the other boys.  When the other boys look at the magazine, it is much different than Jerry's perception.  Jerry wants to find love, not lust. "A longing filled him.  Would a girl ever love him? The one devastating sorror he carried within him was the fear that he would die before holding a girl's breast in his hand."

"That's what Archie did - built the house nobody could anticipate a need for, except himself, a house that was invisible to everyone else." Archie posesses a power that others respect, crave, and that I do not understand.  What power does he have over the Vigils? Why Archie? I just cannot figure out what he has that other's don'e.  Perhaps this is a problem that he will have to deal with later - he's not that special, people just think he is.

Emile is uninteresting to me.  I can't picture or imagine an Emile - I don't remember anyone in my childhood who he is "like". "He found that people had a fear of being embarrassed or humiliated, of being singled out  for special attention."  There are very few people who truly can laugh at themselves - everyone has a level of fear when it comes to being humilated.  No one wants to be embarrassed.  No one. 

Why do the Vigils help Goober?  Why can't anyone know they helped?

"He hated to think of his own life stretching ahead of him that way, a long succession of days and nights that were fine, fine - not good, not bad, not great, not lousy, not exciting, not anything."  This is depressing - and realistic. 

Why does Jerry refuse to sell chocolates?  Why doesn't anyone else?

Is Rita just using Tubs?  His mom says that she is too old, but Tubs is actually older.  Why doesn't his mom like her? "She was a sweet girl who loved him for himself alone."

The scene about Emile's picture is weird. Emile is proud of the picture; however, Archie doesn't actually have one.  Why doesn't Archie just tell Emile the proof?  I cannot figure out what Archie gains from this hold over Emile.  Emile seems to appreciate Archie with or without a picture.  Why carry on the ruse?  I get the feeling that Archie is, in fact, envious of Emile.  Emile isn't afraid of anyone and does whatever he wants.  Archie's power means he must uphold his image.